The elephant in the room.

What is it about the ex?? And by 'ex' i don't mean yours, i mean your boyfriend's or your girlfriend's ex. What is it about them that makes your stomach tighten when they are mentioned or makes your heart beat that little bit faster when their name escapes your partners mouth. Recently, my boyfriend mentioned that his ex had been in contact with him. I felt like someone had kicked me in my stomach, and someone else was having great joy in squeezing my heart. It turned out to be nothing important and she hasn't been in contact since, but in those 30 seconds after her name being mentioned I had all sorts of ideas running through my mind. Why do we always assume the worst? Is it because they were there first? Is it because we fear they will re-enter their lives and take them off us? Or is it because we are secretly scared that our relationship won't be as good as their relationship? One of my friends made it her mission to know everything possible about her boyfriend's ex to see what she was 'competing' with. But it's not really a competition is it. If there were still feelings between the ex and your current partner then wouldn't they still be together, and you would never have been in the picture in the first place. So why am I still worrying then? Personally, I think everyone will be slightly worried about the ex in the beginning of a new relationship or maybe even a long-term relationship but in the end, it's just a case of using something that a lot of us find very very hard... trust.